Following slumdog millionaire recipe makes dinner for anyone with an appetite
Thaw out a perfectly nice novel by Vikas Swarup
Pick out and over-emphasize poverty and squalor. Let the caste system and child exploitation remain
Squeeze out every visual hyperbole from the novel be it riots, garbage or even eye-gouging (you’re certain the western film fraternity has a history of being amused by such issues)
Blanch true character portrayal by forcing the native actors to speak in a weird and funny, hard to understand english accent
Add a nasty, emetic sequence as a trademark (remember the toilet scene in Trainspotting !) Human feces is a must
Wash out any gradual character development (like those of the three stages of jamal and salim) and toss it straight into the trash. Episodic is word-of-the-day
Garnish with music from a well-deserved music composer (probably the only way to salvage the dish) and some other remarkable technical artistes
Throw in an egregiously done bollywood song-and-dance number in the end
Wait for it to pick up momentum at the Golden Globes, SAG and the BAFTA awards
Wait some more for the movie to simmer over low heat in controversies generated by using a seemingly provocative title
Voila, you have a B-grade movie tasty winner.
No seriously, how did it manage to bag the best movie award?
